On the trail of Australia's Big Things...

Australians have some strange practices. Some well known examples include eating vegemite, driving antique cars held together with sticky tape, wearing stubbies in winter, or the unique brand of English spoken which must include the frequent use of words not understood by foreigners. Folks who are not from Oz often find these things ever so slightly baffling, but there is one Aussie habit that even the locals find hard to understand – the apparently insatiable urge to construct Big Things.

Big Things pop up so frequently, it’s hard to keep track of them. At last count, there were almost 150 Big Things but new ones are being built or discovered all the time. Some are sighted frequently. The Big Banana is one of Australia’s most photographed landmarks, and is one of the virtual salad of Big Fruits around the country. There’s the Big Pineapple, Big Apple, Big Strawberry, Big Avocado, Big Cherries as well as several Big Oranges at different sites. But Big Thing builders don’t stop at fruit. When a Big Thing builder is proud of something, be it a stubby of beer, a fish, a local legend, cute Aussie animal, favourite food or useful utensil, the natural inclination is to let everyone know about it by building a Big Thing hundreds of times the size of the original.

Some Big Things are elusive. It is rumoured that there are Big Lions, Tigers and Bears somewhere out there but few, if any, have ever seen them. Some Big Things were once known to exist, but have since disappeared. A Big Pick, Shovel and Sieve were spotted on the Pacific Highway that runs between Sydney and Brisbane, but it seems they have since been misplaced somehow. Just as mysterious is the sudden appearance of Big Things. The Marree Man is a classic example. In 1998, a local Marree pilot was astonished to look down on the surrounding plains to see a four kilometre figure cut into the earth below. No one knows how long it had already been there for, who the artist was or exactly how it was made. The only thing that is known for sure is that it is the largest geoglyph in the world.

Aussie icons consistently provide inspiration for Big Thing builders. As if the original version wasn’t big enough, someone has built a Big Ayers Rock thousands of kilometres away in the tiny town of Karuah, New South Wales. It sits out the front of a restaurant, right next to a Big Sydney Harbour Bridge. Neither the rock nor the bridge is as big as the originals they replicate. The Big Captain Cook points ever south in Cairns, though unfortunately someone has stolen his Big Sextant. The Big Ned Kelly stands as testament to Australia’s love of endearing rascals.

Big Farm Animals are quite common. Unfortunately for the Big Bulls of Queensland and New South Wales, the Big Cow is thousands of kilometres away in Western Australia’s Brunswick Junction. There was one in Nambour at one stage, but it was decommissioned. The Big Cow on Phillip Island looks like she already has a family, with a Big Calf as well as another Big Cow next to her. There are no sheep to keep the Big Ram company, and the two Big Merinos both look quite male. Reportedly there are some Big Hay Bales, but these are across the sea somewhere in Tasmania.

It seems there are some staples of Aussie culture that have been forgotten in Big Thing replication. Where, for instance, is the Big Vegemite? The Big Weet-Bix? The Big Akubra? The Big Billy? The Big Tin Shed? There’s also no Big Dunny, Big Fly or Big Yobbo. Interestingly enough, no politician has ever been immortalised as a Big Thing either. We may be waiting forever.

As mentioned, some Big Things have several incarnations. When you speak of the Big Apple, you must also specify which Big Apple you are talking about. Is it the one in Bacchus Marsh, Victoria? Donnybrook, Western Australia? Thulimbah, Queensland? Or is it the one in Yerrinbool, New South Wales? The same goes for Big Bananas, Barramundis, Bikes, Boomerangs, Bottles (there are at least five of these), Bulls, Cows, Crocodiles, Dinosaurs, Elephants, Fish, Guitars, Koalas, Merinos, Milkshakes, Miners, Murray Cods, Oranges, Oysters, Pineapples, Pumpkins, Stubbies (as in beer) and Trouts.

Some Big Things, though, are unique. There is only one Big Mushroom, one Big Toad, one Big Redback Spider, one Big Rolling Pin, one Big Pavlova, one Big Ned Kelly, one Big Mosquito, one Big Gumboot and surprisingly there is only one Big Kangaroo. There have been several versions of the Big Joint in Nimbin, but the police keep confiscating them whereupon they are promptly replaced. There are plenty of big rocks around Australia, but there is only one Big Rock. When you see this Big Thing, several alternative Big Titles tend to spring to mind. The Big Rock is a not-so-offensive tag for this huge boulder in the shape of a rather erect male appendage.

It could always be a matter of mystery as to why Australians keep building Big Things. There are many questions surrounding these strange constructions that we may be asking for years to come. Who builds them? How do they get there? What is the point? One thing is for sure – no matter the answers to these questions, Big Things have become part of Aussie culture, even if they are kind of tacky and ridiculous and so we must embrace their existence. They’re everywhere, and there’s just no stopping them.